home furnish

Sunday 26 January 2014

51 Alok Nath Jokes....



1. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That dogs at his house also do not bark. They say "bowji, bowji"!!

2. AlokNath BBM Pin is 5AN5KAR !
     Add him now and get blessed!!

3. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he colses his eyes when he takes a bath!!

4. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    that he was born at the age of 65!!

5. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
   That he cuts mathura ke pede on        his birthday!!

6. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That when he was born, the doctors     said "BADHAI HO BABUJI HUE             HAIN"!!

7. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
   That he went to Vrindavan for his      honeymoon!!

8. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he went to Vaishono Devi for       his Bachelor's party with his family!!

9. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That when he heard the song "Gandi Baat", he put gangaajal  in his ears!!

10.Alok Nath is so sanskari 
     That he brought a new phone and broke a coconut on it!!

11. Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he uses haldi and chandan flavoured condoms!!

12.Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he went to SUNBURN and did surya namaskar!!

13.Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he bunked college lectures to attend his daughter's wedding!!

14.Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he smokes agarbattis!!

15.Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That he buys newspaper just to read the matrimonials!!

16.Alok Nath is so sanskari 
    That when he walks into a bar, the bar walks out!!

17.Akeli ladkiyan sabse jyada Alok Nath ji se ghabrati hai
    kahin pakar k kanyadaan na kar de!!

18.Alok nath is so sanskari 
    that Ganga maiya comes to his backyards for daily recharge!!

19.The only two wars Alok Nath has seen in his life is - Haridwar and Parivaar

20. Alok Nath CV reads as :-
     Degree - MBA in Kanyadaan
     Skills - Sanskaar
     Hobby - Giving Ashirwaads

21.In school days Alok Nath bunked a lecture to listen Ramkatha.


22.Alok Nath has never received salary, he always gets pension.

23.Alok Nath belives in ashirwad at first sight.

24.Alok Nath carried Hanuman chalisa to school instead of notebook.

25.Alok Nath reads all indian are my brothers and sisters as all indian are my samdhis and samdhans

26.Alok Nath eats prasad as starters.

27.Alok Nath was the first person to call Parle as Parle G

28.Alok Nath wants facebook to add 'Ashirwaad' button.

29.Alok Nath has 0 friends because he always turns "dosti into rishtedari"

30.Alok Nath removes his slippers before playing Temple Run and distribute prasad after crossing each level

31.Alok Nath WhatsApp shows "Last doing Kanyadaan at"

32.Alok Nath is someone who is worried about kanyadaan of the girl who is yet to be born

33.Honey Singh : Party All night
Alok Nath : Aarty all night!!

34.Alok Nath : Arohi
    Arohi : Kya
    Alok Nath : Kuch Nhi, bus apna kanyadaan mujhse he karwana

35.Honey Singh : Choti Dress mei bomb laagdi meinu
    Alok Nath : Choti Dress mei thand lag jayegi beti!!

36. Hone waali Saas: Kya aapki beti mein Sanskar hain?
      Beti ka Baap: Ha... Humari Beti "Alok Nath 9001:420" Certified hai ji!!

37. Once Alok Nath was sent to jail by police for illegal kanyadaan...

and made him grind the wheat.. . . since then the flour is known asASHIRWAD AATA.

38.Alok Nath got a watchman's job and was all night heard calling out "jeetey rahooooo" as he took his rounds.


39.Once alok nath ate chiken tanduri by mistake .....aftr tht he done prayashcit by doing 100 kanyadan in 1 day


40. Alok Nath goes to KFC to eat his favorite ‘Gaajar ka Halwa’.

41. Air hostess to Alok Nath : kya lenge?
     Alok Nath - Puri,sabji,khir,laddu aur Mathura ke Pede.
     Air hostess-Sir, aap kingfisher k plane me baithe ho,     Vijay mallya k shraadh me nahi... 

42. The most sanskaari elements in chemistry...
      Alluminium (Al)
      Oxygen (O)
      Potassium (K)
      Sodium (Na)
      Thorium (Th)


43. Ab bhikari bhi aise bhikh maangte hain,
     "Aloknath ke naam pe kuch dedo Samdhiji"
     Bhikh milne par kehte hain
     "Aloknath ka Aashirwad tum par hamesha bana rahe"
     Aur bhikh naa milne par kehte hain,
     "Jao, Aloknath tumhari beti ka Kanyadaan kabhi nahin karega"

44 .The full form of ALOK is - A Lot Of Kanyadans.



45. AlokNath caught a thief..he took him to mata ki chowkie instead of police      chowkie!

46.Sunny Leonne to Alok Nath : Hum Tum ek kamare me bandh ho.. or chabi       kho jaye...
    To kya karenge...????
    Alok Nath : Havan karenge, Havan karenge, Havan karenge.

47. Bahu: I am going to supermarket.
     Aloknath: Take my sanskaar.
     Bahu: Ab baas bhi karo.
     Aloknath: Arre I mean my son’s car.


48. friend: ek OLD MONK leke aa na.
        Alok Nath goes all the way to tibet to bring dalai lama for his friend. 

49. Alonath ji ne bachpan me ek ldke ko aashirwad deke ek book apne hontho se chum krdi aur wo bcha aaj mark zukerberg k naam se jana jata he aur wo book facebook hai


50. When Alok Nath farts it smells like aggarbatti

51. When Alok Nath goes to hotel he orders "SHAGUN KI THALI"

1 comment: